Separation seems like forever
by 702064
Summary: What happens to Bella when Edward goes off to fight WW1, and she's forced to marry someone unless Edward comes home soon. Bad summary, please R&R All human
1. Chapter 1: Goodbye Bella's POV

"Mama, may I please say goodbye to Edward

Goodbye

-Bella's POV-

"Mama, may I _please _say goodbye to Edward?" I asked impatiently.

"I don't know. What do you think, Charlie?"

"It couldn't hurt," he replied.

"Oh, thank you Father!" I hugged him quickly on the way out the door.

I ran to where I told Edward I was going to meet him, but I ended up late because I tripped over my dress. Fortunately, I caught myself, so I only had a small scrape on my palm. I walked up part of a hill, but once I saw Edward, I ran again. I tripped over my shoes, and landed flat on my face. I heard him chuckle. My face turned bright red.

"Did you run all the way here, Bella?" There was a horse standing next to him.

"…not all the way… Why?"

"There are many cuts on your hands. Now I know why you're late."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be late. I wanted to have more time," I blundered. He put a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry about it. We have all the time in the world. Right now I need to think about what's coming up for me."

"I don't want you to join the war." He smiled sadly.

"I know, but I turned eighteen a week ago. Our country counts on me to fight. I'll be home soon enough."

"How do I know you're going to even return?" He touched my cheek.

"I will return, Bella," he said with such a fierceness I couldn't doubt him.

"Promise me?"  
"I promise."

"Why do you have a horse with you?"

"I need him to get to ship quicker."

"I'm delaying your trip, aren't I?"

"Don't worry about it."

We sat on top of the hill, his arm casually over my shoulders, watching the sun set. "I love you Isabella Swan." I looked up at him surprised. His green eyes sparkled with sincerity. I smiled, this was the first time he had ever said the words 'I love you'.

"I love you too, Edward Masen." He returned my smile with all the warmth of the sun.

"Bella, if I ask you something, will you say yes?"  
"Umm… okay?" He gave a soft low whistle. His horse, Midnight, came trotting to him.  
"Will you please take care of Midnight? I don't want her to be neglected, and I know you'll take good care of her."

"Of course, Edward, I'd love to take care of her. I'll take the best care of her."

"Thank you," he replied formally. "Since I promised to come back, will you promise me something?"

"What is it?" I looked in his eyes, and seemed to be filled with hope and love.

"Will you take care of yourself? I don't want you to get hurt when I'm gone."

"Yes, Edward."

"Thank you, Bella. I love you too much to withstand ever losing you." I hugged him tightly, and he returned the hug. I felt his strong arms around me, and I felt safe, safe from everything. I herd him sigh.

"You have to go?"

"Yes, I'm sorry Bella. I don't want to leave. I want to live the rest of forever with you." I looked up at his face, and memorized the way his hair shined in the sun, and how his eyes sparkled. "I'll keep in contact with you, I promise."

"Bye Edward. I love you."

"I love you too. Please take good care of Midnight for me."  
"I will." He leaned into me, and kissed my forehead.

"Goodnight, Bella." He handed me Midnight's reigns, got up on his horse, and flew into the woods. I thought I saw something glitter on his face. I stood there awhile, sadness slowly filling me. Midnight nudged me.

"It's okay, girl. I'll take good care of you."

She nudged me again. "I know, I miss him too. Let's go home."

I went to bed that night with silent tears streaming down my face.


	2. Chapter 2: Caged Edward's POV

-Edward's POV-

"_Goodnight, Bella." He handed me Midnight's reigns, got up on his horse, and flew into the woods. I thought I saw something glittering on his face. I stood there awhile, sadness slowly filling me. Midnight nudged me. _

"_It's okay, girl. I'll take good care of you." _

_She nudged me again. "I know, I miss him too. Let's go home."_

_I went to bed that night with silent tears streaming down my face._

Caged

-Edward's POV-

I stared at the metal floor, thinking about the past few days with Bella, and fingering the black box. Sitting there, remembering all the good times and the bad times made my eyes sting. I didn't know the next time I would see her.

"_Edward, what's wrong?"_

_I turned away from her; I couldn't look her into her eyes and tell her this. I took a deep breath. "Bella, I received a letter today. I'm being sent over to Europe to fight in the war." She was quiet. I looked at her, and her expression was torn. _

"_When are you leaving?" she asked quietly. _

"_Three days from now. Actually, I'm surprised I can stay here this long. My birthday was a couple days ago."_

"_I don't want you to go." _

"_I'm going to be on a boat most of the time. I won't be the in the most danger."  
"That's even worse! The enemy will attack you first. It'll be easier to you, and attack you." She gripped my arm. "Edward, please don't go. Please don't leave me."  
"I'm sorry, but I have to. I don't want to go, but our country needs me. I'll write to you whenever I can."  
"I don't know when I'll see you again." This fact shocked me. This hadn't crossed my mind. I thought of all the possible things she could say, but not this. Tears came to my eyes, but I blinked them back. I didn't want to think about it. I couldn't think about it._

"_We'll see each other soon enough," I lied. "Besides, we'll write to each other, so it won't be that hard." She turned away from me to hide her face. I felt awful. I touched her shoulder to comfort her._

"_Bella, I don't want to go as much as you don't want me to go. This is hard enough saying goodbye to you. We'll see each other, and we can spend as long as we want together. We'll spend time together the next few days, too." She looked at me with tearful eyes._

"_Okay, Edward. That does make me feel a _little_ bit better." I smiled._

"_I'll take you home."_

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_I waited for my Bella on top of a hill, our usual meeting place. I tightly gripped onto the reins of a horse my captain gave me. I knew I had a long journey before me, but I wanted to see Bella's face, just one more time. I imagined the trouble I would get into if I stayed too late. "Maybe she forgot."_

"_No, she wouldn't forget. We've known each other for too long."_

"_I bet she doesn't want to say goodbye to you."  
"Why not?" I asked myself._

"_Why would she _want_ to? You're her best friend, and she doesn't want to be filled with sadness." I reached into my pocket and pulled out a black velvet box. _

"_She wouldn't be filled with sadness when I gave this to her," I argued back. A little part of me wanted to believe that she wouldn't come. It would be too hard to say goodbye. A tear slid down my face. "No, I can't show weakness when she's around. I don't want to make this any harder for her."_

_I slipped the box back into my pocket and waited for her once more. Soon I saw her walking slowly towards me. My face lit up with a huge smile. She ran towards me, and then fell down. _

"_Did you run all the way here?" I joked._

"…_not all the way… Why?"_

"_There are many cuts on your hands. Now I know why you're late."_

"_I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be late. I wanted to have more time," she blundered. I put a hand on her shoulder. _

_We were sitting on the hill, while I fingered the black box. Ask her now, before it's too late, I told myself. I scooted closer to her, and put my arm around her shoulder. I decided to start with a small conversation. _

"_I love you Isabella Swan." I looked into her eyes, as I said this, and the sparkled with love._

"_I love you too, Edward Masen." I returned her smile automatically. Edward, you can do this. _

"_Bella, if I ask you something, will you say yes?"  
"Umm… okay?" I gave a soft low whistle. My horse, Midnight, came trotting to me.  
"Will you please take care of Midnight? I don't want her to be neglected, and I know you'll take good care of her."_

"_Of course, Edward, I'd love to take care of her. I'll take the best care of her."_

"_Thank you. Since I promised to come back, will you promise me something?"_

"_What is it?" _

"_Will you take care of yourself? I don't want you to get hurt when I'm gone, and I don't want to have to worry about you accidentally killing yourself."_

"_Yes, Edward." _

"_Thank you, Bella. I love you too much to withstand ever losing you." She hugged me tightly, and I returned the hug. I sighed._

"_You have to go?"_

"_Yes, I'm sorry Bella. I don't want to leave. I want to live the rest of forever with you." "I'll keep in contact with you, I promise."_

"_Bye Edward. I love you."_

"_I love you too. Please take good care of Midnight for me."  
"I will." I leaned into her, and kissed her forehead. _

_I swiftly got onto my work horse, and rode off, tears streaming down my face. "Goodbye Bella," I whispered. I pulled out the black box and opened it. "I wish I had the courage to tell you my true feelings._

_A diamond ring sparkled in the sun. It reminded me of Bella. "I love you Bella."_

More tears slid down my face, as I closed the box and sealed my heart. I couldn't be crying all the time. I would just have to think about my future plans with my soul mate and think about the war. I felt caged. I wanted to be on top of our hill, with Bella in my arms.


	3. Chapter 3: Nightmare pt 1 Bella's POV

_More tears slid down my face, as I closed the box and sealed my heart. I couldn't be crying all the time. I would just have to think about my future plans with my soul mate and think about the war. I felt caged. I wanted to be on top of our hill, with Bella in my arms. _

Nightmare Part 1

-Bella's POV-

_I urged Midnight forward, plunging through snow. I knew I was desperately looking for something, but I didn't know what. Someone, something had returned, but I had to find it. I grew more and more panicky, knowing the more I stalled the less chance of ever retrieving that thing. I heard a gunshot, and I froze. I knew exactly what I wanted, but it was too late. "EDWARD!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs._

_Then I saw what I had feared most. A man stumbling forward, someone with bronze hair, and someone whom had been shot. "Edward!" I shouted again, jumping off Midnight and running towards him. "No, Edward!" I pushed through the snow, even though it was too late. Tears streamed down my face. "Edward," I sobbed. I got to my dead prince, and hugged him tightly. "I love you Edward. You were my everything."_

I woke up, tears still sliding down my face. I hugged my pillow tightly, trying to stop the outrageous crying. I was used to this dream. I had it ever since Edward left. Even though I was used to it, the dream affected me the same way.

Someone knocked on my door. "Come in," I croaked. Renee popped in her head.

"Had the same dream again?" she guessed. I nodded, unable to speak.

"I'm sorry. He didn't want to leave, you know. He told me that if he had a choice between leaving and staying here with you he would stay."

"That doesn't say anything. I think he was lying to me about not wanting to go. I'm sure he was excited as ever to go."  
"Oh, Bella, he loves you. If he didn't love you he wouldn't have sent this letter." She held up a folded piece of parchment.

"He did send me something," I said excitedly. I took it away from Renee and tore it open.

My dearest Bella,

I miss you so much all ready. The ship hasn't left the port yet, and I already feel as if part of me has been ripped away. My shipmates are somewhat friendly, but they don't know how it feels to leave a loved one. The captain got angry at me for thinking about you. He says I should be excited to have the chance to fight for our country, I don't believe him though. I was forced to leave. I've been thinking of you constantly. I hope you're doing well, and haven't killed yourself by tripping or something like that. Has Midnight been treating you well? It's killing me to be so far away from you for so long.

I love you, and miss you so much,

Edward

I read it over and over, memorizing every word. Then I tucked it under my pillow, hoping I wouldn't have that nightmare anymore. I replied to his letter, and started to take care of Midnight for the day.

I brushed her all over, and braided her tail. I placed her saddle on her and her reins, and then took her for a run. I brought a crimson rose and a tea colored rose with me. (A/N Dark crimson means mourning, and tea means I'll remember always.)

I knelt down, and placed the flowers before a grave. It was her sixth birthday, and she was given a bouquet of anemone. I learned later that the meaning of the flower was forsaken.

"_Rosalie, do you want to ride the horse?"_

"_Yes, yes!" she exclaimed. "Rosalie wants to ride pretty pony."_

"_Okay, let me lift you up onto my horse." I watched happily as Edward lifted my little sister onto Taffy. He took the reins, and led her in a circle._

"_More! More!" Rosalie shouted. He led her around the circle again and again._

"_Faster! Faster!" she shouted again. Edward looked at me and I nodded in assent. _

"_Let her have fun." Edward was about to get on the horse with Rosalie, when the worst accident of my life happened. Taffy got spooked, and took off galloping with Rosalie on her back. Rosalie thought it was the best thing in her life. Edward, knowing what to do, took off after her. I stood frozen in place, until I knew what was going on. _

_Once I did, it was too late. Taffy reared, and Rosalie fell off. What I saw then was a complete nightmare. I screamed bloody murder. I ran over to my little sister. How she lay there, broken, didn't look right. One of her bones stood at a ninety degree angle to her leg. I shuddered. Edward knelt down, and touched her neck. _

"_It feels like she broke her neck." I started screaming again, and couldn't stop. Tears ran down my face. I didn't know what to think. _

_Carlisle, hearing my screaming, alerted my parents. They all came running. When my Renee saw what I stood over, she started screaming. _

"_My baby! My baby!" she cried. "What's happened to my baby?" _

"_Taffy got spooked, and took off. I ran after her, knowing Rosalie wouldn't think to hold onto the reins. Taffy reared, and Rosalie fell off, breaking her neck._

I shuddered again remembering that day so clearly. Had it been eight years already? I was haunted by that day. I hated Edward for the longest time. I silly I was for believing that he could have prevented it. I could have prevented it just as easily.

I touched the grave. "I'm sorry, Rosalie. You would've grown up to be a beautiful women and a wonderful bride."

I heard cheerful laughter, a ghost of a memory. "Faster! Faster!" I heard the voice say. I shuddered. I jumped onto Midnight in one fluid movement, and rode home.


	4. Chapter 4: Nightmare pt 2 Edward's POV

_I shuddered again remembering that day so clearly. Had it been eight years already? I was haunted by that day. I hated Edward for the longest time. I silly I was for believing that he could have prevented it. I could have prevented it just as easily. _

_I touched the grave. "I'm sorry, Rosalie. You would've grown up to be a beautiful women and a wonderful bride."_

_I heard cheerful laughter, a ghost of a memory. "Faster! Faster!" I heard the voice say. I shuddered. I jumped onto Midnight in one fluid movement, and rode home._

Nightmare Part 2

-Edward's POV-

"_Edward, you're off duty. You can go home now." I was engorged with joy. _

_I quickly arrived home, but all I found was death and destruction. Winter gripped the land, and it was eerie. "Hello?" I called. No one answered. I looked around for my love, heart and soul. I lifted rotten pillars, and kicked around ashes for any sign of life. I heard a faint cry._

_I rushed to my hill, to find my captain talking to Bella. I hid behind a tree to figure out what was wrong. _

_She seemed to be pleading for something. "P-please, I'll d-do anything. Just let me see Edward one m-more time." I came out of my hiding place._

"_Is there anything wrong here, Captain?" I asked, authority ringing in my voice._

"_Nothing, Edward. Bella here was begging to see you one more time before her death."_

"_NO!" I cried, but it was too late. A spear showed up out of nowhere, and he lunged forward, piercing Bella's soft flesh. The spear continued its journey, until it protruded out six inches. I stood there frozen for a second, and my captain disappeared. I rushed to her side. "Bella, are you okay? Please, Bella, speak to me!" I held of her face. She coughed up blood. Her blood stained the white snow. _

"_I…love…you," she whispered._

"_Bella, you're going to be okay. I can help you."_

"_No… Edward…"_

"_You'll be okay, I promise." She coughed more blood._

"_Edward…I…love you." She lay limp._

"_No, Bella," I sobbed, "you can't die now. You were supposed to live with me. We're supposed to have kids, and whither away _together_. We're supposed to grow old. I can't live a day without you." I looked up at the black sky._

"_WHY!" I shouted angrily. "Why her, why now? What has she done to you?" I sobbed and sobbed._

I woke up, startled. My face was soaking wet, and so was my pillow. "Is everything okay, Edward?" one of my companions, Jasper, asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"Who were you talking about?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"You said, 'why her, why now?' You were shouting very loudly."

"Go back to sleep, it was just Bella." He rolled over, and covered his face with his pillow. That was the hundredth time I've woken up someone because of one of my nightmares. I pulled out a crumpled drawing of Bella.

"I love you," I whispered. I tucked her under my pillow, and placed my hand over it. I was glad Bella gave me that picture for Christmas. It made me feel closer than I really was.

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I sat at a small wooden desk, reading Bella's letter. It somewhat disturbed me.

_Edward, _

_I miss you so much too. I've thought about you constantly, and drew at least ten pictures of you, and ten pictures of us. I miss you taking me home, and tucking me in every night. _

_Midnight's behaving, as usual. She doesn't like to trot that much, she would much rather run at full speed through the woods. I've been afraid of hitting the trees several times. Once, when she was trotting, I hit a low branch and had a headache for the rest of the day._

_Yesterday, I bought a dark crimson rose, and a tea colored rose to put on Rosalie's grave. I haven't told you this before, but whenever I return there, I can hear her laughing and telling you to let her go faster. I feel like I somehow abandoned my sister, in her hour of need. I don't think I should have let her ride Taffy. If I ever get another sister, I won't make another mistake like that again. I'm sorry I was angry at you for all those months. How could I have been so stupid? You couldn't have prevented it any more than me._

_There's been something that's been bothering me since you left. I've had a persistent nightmare visit me every night. I urged Midnight forward, plunging through snow. I knew I was desperately looking for something, but I didn't know what. Someone, something had returned, but I had to find it. I grew more and more panicky, knowing the more I stalled the less chance of ever retrieving that thing. I heard a gunshot, and I froze. I knew exactly what I wanted, but it was too late. "EDWARD!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs._

_Then I saw what I had feared most. A man stumbling forward, someone with bronze hair, and someone whom had been shot. "Edward!" I shouted again, jumping off Midnight and running towards him. "No, Edward!" I pushed through the snow, even though it was too late. Tears streamed down my face. "Edward," I sobbed. I got to my dead prince, and hugged him tightly. "I love you Edward. You were my everything."_

_I'm afraid of that dream, Edward. I feel likes it's some kind of premonition or something. I want you to come home, Edward. I miss you so much. I don't want to live another day without you._

_Love Bella._

I shuddered at 'I don't want to live another day without you.'

I took out a piece of parchment, and started writing a letter to my parents.

Dear Mother and Father,

I miss you so much. I miss your pancakes, Mother, and I miss going to the hospital with you, Father. Mother, I know Father must be so busy working at the hospital. I hate to think of you doing house work by yourself. If I was there, I would be doing my part.

I write this letter to ask a favor. Mother, if it's not too hard, could you please get a bouquet of the following flowers for Bella; yellow zinnias, primrose, forget-me-nots, azaleas, orange blossoms, and orchids. I'm afraid that she's upset by my loss of presence, and she's getting lonely. I want to remind her how much I love her.

If you don't get the bouquet for her, it's okay. I'll find some other way of conveying the message. Please take care of yourself, and Father.

I love you,

Edward.

_A/N I hope you liked this chapter. I love the reviews I'm getting. Just a fun little question you can answer in your review, do you know why Edward and Bella have similar dreams? If I get lots of answers for this question, I'll give you guys two chapters tomorrow._


	5. Chapter 5: Missing Edward Bella's POV

I shuddered at 'I don't want to live another day without you

_I shuddered at 'I don't want to live another day without you.'…_

If you don't get the bouquet for her, it's okay. I'll find some other way of conveying the message. Please take care of yourself, and Father.

I love you,

Edward.

Missing Edward

-Bella's POV-

I sat on the couch, with my family, trying to look as if I wasn't miserable. Esme and Carlisle Cullen were somehow convinced that I was depressed and needed to talk to them. My parents were chatting with them, nonchalantly, while I stared off into space.

I wanted nothing more than to be in my room letting my feelings out, or drawing a picture of Edward.

"Bella, is Midnight treating you well?" Esme asked.

"Yes, Mrs. Cullen. Thank you for the flowers." She smiled, seemingly content. My eyebrows furrowed a tiny bit. 'Edward wanted to remind me of his love', or something like that.

I knew he loved me; nobody had to spend money on me to prove _that_.

I sighed. _Edward, why did you have to leave? Every minute of my life is filled with agony and depression. I don't want to go to sleep anymore because I know I'll have that dream again. I can't see you fall down dead one more time or I'm going to go crazy. _

"Bella, are you okay? You look kind of pale."

"No, I don't feel right. Maybe I should go to my room and take it easy for awhile," I replied, grasping at any chance to go into my room and sulk. "I'll find a vase these flowers can go into, and then head into my bedroom. If you need anything, I'll be more than happy to help you." I smiled the best could, and walked away.

When I got into my bedroom, I set the vase on the small table next to my bed, and then reached under my pillow and pulled out Edward's most recent note. I read it again, remembering something about me feeling depressed. I guessed that he sent a letter to his parents requesting flowers for me. _He knows I don't want money spent on me. Why would he do such a thing?_

_Dearest Bella,_

_Of course that incident with Rosalie was my fault. I should have been more careful, and hung onto Taffy's rein. I remember that day as if it were yesterday, no matter how many times I try to block it out. I also remember those following weeks when you wouldn't talk to me. I understood perfectly why you didn't want to talk to me, but I found myself not able to stay away from you. I was glad when you decided to hang out with me again, even though I hated being reminded of that dark day. She looked so much like you. _

_I miss saying goodnight to you too, my Love. I wish you didn't have to have nightmares every night. Don't believe the nightmare, though. I will return to you, and have you safe in my arms once again. _

_I loved you from the moment we met, so long ago. Please remember that, and don't do anything rash. I love you, and hopefully I'll return soon._

_Love, _

_Edward._

_Don't do anything rash? _ I thought. _That's why I got the flowers. He thinks I'm so depressed that I'll harm myself. The only reason why I would hurt myself on purpose is if I have to live without him. _

_Edward, I love you with all my heart. Please just return soon, that's all I ask. _

_A/N I hope you liked the chapter. I'll update hopefully soon, maybe tomorrow or something. I love the reviews I'm getting. All I ask is that you keep reviewing. I want to know why you guys think Bella and Edward are having nightmares about the other one dying. _


	6. Chapter 6: Bad News pt 1 Edward's POV

Don't do anything rash

_Don't do anything rash? I thought. That's why I got the flowers. He thinks I'm so depressed that I'll harm myself. The only reason why I would hurt myself on purpose is if I have to live without him. _

_Edward, I love you with all my heart. Please just return soon, that's all I ask. _

-Edward's POV-

"Edward, I'm sorry, but our troops need you out in the battle field."  
"What happened to all the others?"

"They were all killed or wounded. Like I said already, I'm sorry Edward, we need you."

"You told me all I needed to do was to stay on this ship."  
"Edward, enough arguing already, you have to do what we tell you to," he said angrily.

"I'm sorry, General. It's not my place to question your decisions," I answered formally. My mind was still swirling around 'they were all killed or wounded'. "What happened to Jasper?"

"Oh, he's still there. He was moved to a different battalion," he paused. "They need you right away, Edward. You'll be lieutenant. If you do well, we can consider general…"

"Yes, sir, I'll be there right away."

"I'll give you a few hours to get ready." He turned and left.

_Dear Edward, _

_What do you mean, don't do anything rash? I'll keep my promise I made to you before you left. I won't purposely hurt myself. I still am having the same dream, only now I can see the man who killed you. He, too, is dying, a pool of blood next to him. I wish I could stop seeing the dream, but I just can't. Even when I'm riding Midnight I can't seem to clear away the dream. I just wish I could feel your strong arms around me for one second. Just having that memory would last me until you come back. I wish you could come back soon. The lack of not being able to see you is shredding my heart apart. I love you so much, it hurts. Renée and Charlie are noticing my depression. I hear them talking about finding a suitable husband. I'm scared, Edward. I'm scared to death. I keep hearing whispers from you. You're telling me that you love me, and you won't live without anyone else. I think that is the only thing that is keeping me going throughout the day. I miss you so much._

_I love you,_

_Bella._

My heart throbbed at her torment. I didn't want anything more in the world than to pull her into my arms and tell her everything is going to be okay. But I couldn't do that, not now. I was going on the field of battle tomorrow. Even I didn't know if everything's going to be okay. _Hold on, Bella. Hold on just a little longer._

_A/N Sorry for the long update. I was hoping for three reviews, but I only got one. School has started again, and I'm taking really hard classes this year. I don't know how often I'll be able to update, but I will try to keep the chapters coming. Also, I refuse to update unless I have three new reviews. It doesn't necessarily have to be for the chapter, I just want three reviews. Suggestions are always welcome. Edward and Bella are having nightmares because they fear seperation more permanent than war. Please review!!_


	7. Chapter 7: Bad News pt 2 Bella's POV

My heart throbbed at her torment

_My heart throbbed at her torment. I didn't want anything more in the world than to pull her into my arms and tell her everything is going to be okay. But I couldn't do that, not now. I was going on the field of battle tomorrow. Even I didn't know if everything's going to be okay. Hold on, Bella. Hold on just a little longer._

-Bella's POV-

"Bella, you're going to be late," Charlie called up the stairs.

"I don't care!" I shouted back. I pulled myself into a smaller ball, and rested my head against the cold wall. Tears streamed down my face. Stairs creaked, and shortly after, the door swung open, but I didn't look to see who it was. I already had a pretty good idea.

"Bella, please do this," Renée begged, "it hurts your father, and it hurts me to see you like this." I turned to face her, my face emotionless, empty. I heard a small gasp.

"I'll go, but I won't be happy."

"Thanks, Bella. You're father is proud of you, you know."

Five minutes later, I walked down the stairs in a ridiculously expensive dress. "You look beautiful, honey."

"Sure," I replied sarcastically. _It was just a date,_ I reminded myself. _Ugh, date. The only man I _dreamed_ of dating was Edward, but he was half way across the ocean fight in a war._ Reminding myself of Edward brought back some of the bitterness of before.

"Don't be angry at Edward, Bella. It's not his fault," Renée said. "I mean, there are a lot of casualties lost on both sides." I gulped.

"I'm not angry at him, I'm angry at the darn cruel world."

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I stared out the carriage, watching the rain fall. "I hope you enjoy your date," Charlie said, as the horses came to a stop.

"Thanks," I whispered. I gathered my skirt and slowly exited the carriage. A man waited there for me, with an umbrella. He held it out, covering me instantly. I studied his outfit for all of two seconds. A nice collar shirt and tan pants. His chest seemed to be muscular. I looked at his face with appraising eyes. He had brown hair and brown eyes. His jaw was slightly curved, and his nose was straight. I forced a smile.

"Hello Bella," he said warmly. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks, Will. You look… handsome yourself." He pulled me into a one armed hug.

We ate lunch and talked. "Bella, I'm not trying to pry, but when we met earlier, you seemed… upset." I grimaced. "It's okay," he said, misinterpreting my expression, "you don't have to explain."

"No, it's just my best friend is fighting in Germany. He was originally doing something in a boat, so it wasn't as dangerous. I was just informed that he is inland, fighting." By the end, my voice had a longing note in it. I wondered if he noticed it.

"I don't blame you for being anxious."  
"Anxious doesn't even cover it," I replied darkly.

"…and you miss him."

"You have no idea."

"I wonder, did he have feelings for you?" he asked, with a jealous tone. I squirmed in my seat.

"He didn't propose to me, if that's what you mean."

"How do you feel about him?"

"He's been my best friend for as long as I can remember. He's more of a companion then anything else," I lied. I wasn't comfortable talking about my feelings for another man, so I quickly changed the subject.

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Will and I walked towards where Charlie was waiting to pick me up. It was raining harder than before. Will held the umbrella still, but he wrapped his arm around me, which made me uncomfortable. I felt this was moving too fast. All I wanted to do today was to curl up in my bed and cry my heart out. I wasn't sure if Edward was going to return to me anymore. With that thought, tears started sliding down my face. I tried covering my face from Will.

"Bella, what's wrong?" He asked, wiping tears from my face.

"I'm afraid for Edward. I want him to return home, but I don't think it's going to happen. There are so many casualties. How is he going to survive?"

"Oh, Bella, forget about him. You have me now, and I'll take care of you. I'll fulfill your every need." Before I had gathered my thoughts, the carriage pulled up. I was happy that my dad was just a few steps away.

"Bye, Will. I'll see you later," I muttered. I quickly stepped into the dry box.

"How was your date, Bells?" I turned to look at him. "Oh no, what happened, Bella?"  
"Nothing, Dad, it's just that I miss Edward so much." Charlie pursed his lips, and something clicked in my head.

"You don't think Edward _will_ come back, do you? That's why you want me to date Will. That's why he said 'You have me now, and I'll take care of you'. Why are you doing this to me? WHY?" I shrieked.

"Bella, if he doesn't come back, it would leave you heart broken. If you moved on now… it would be that much easier."

"Do you intend for me to _marry_ him?"

"That's my intentions…"

The second I got home, I stalked off to my room, and pulled out Edward's letter.

_My dearest Bella,_

_I want nothing more than to cradle you in my arms, and tell you everything is going to be all right. I just can't. I received news today that I am needed fighting at the front lines. We're losing so many troops, we can't get enough troops into replace them. I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise. I love you so much, that if I don't return I would wish you continued to have a happy painless life. I won't be able to write to you in a while, so I must lay everything out to you in writing right now. I'm an idiot for not doing this earlier, perhaps before I left. I was about to give you a beautiful engagement ring, and ask you for your hand in marriage. I guess I'm doing this right now, but rather in writing. If you accept my proposal I would be the happiest man in the universe. I think what torments me the most not having to safe in my arms, and the fact that I can't do it in person. _

_I love you so much Bella. I wish you have a happy life if I don't return._

_Love, _

_Edward._

By the end of the letter, there were big wet splotches on the piece of paper. _Oh Edward, even you doubt that you're going to be coming home soon. _I clutched the piece of paper to my heart. I pulled out my calendar, and counted how many days it was since he left. _It's been five months. How many years does it seem?_ Desperately, I grabbed a pencil and paper and drew Edward's face furiously. When I finished it, I hugged it with all my might. I never wanted to let go of Edward, or worse forget him.


	8. Chapter 8: Coming Home Edward's POV

By the end of the letter, there were big wet splotches on the piece of paper

_By the end of the letter, there were big wet splotches on the piece of paper. Oh Edward, even you doubt that you're going to be coming home soon. I clutched the piece of paper to my heart. I pulled out my calendar, and counted how many days it was since he left. It's only been five months. How many years does it seem? Desperately, I grabbed a pencil and paper and drew Edward's face furiously. When I finished it, I hugged it with all my might. I never wanted to let go of Edward, or worse forget him._

Edward's POV

Nothingness, numbness, that's how I felt. My life was gone, back at home in Chicago.

I was just a body, mind and soul away. I wanted nothing more than to join the rest of my body together.

It sort of felt like I was slowly drowning, but there was no pain it was just nothingness.

I wondered how much longer I could take this; surely only a few more days, or maybe hours. If I was lucky this numbness would never go away, or if it did, I would die quickly after it.

"Edward, the Lieutenant needs you." I sighed. Of course he needed me.

I got up, and walked to his tent. "You wanted to see me sir?"

"Edward, I don't want to see a fine man like you killed in the battlefield. Neither do I want to see your life ruined because of the war. I'm sending you home."

"Can you do that sir?" I asked.

I paused. "I mean, the only men I've seen go home are the wounded."

"Of course I can, but you must tell nobody. Do you understand?"

I smiled at the prospect of seeing my Bella again. "Yes sir."

"Good. I've established a boat that will take you home, but you have to stay here a couple more days. I hope you have a normal life, Edward. Good luck."

"Thank you sir, thank you for everything."

He smiled a tight smile. "Goodbye Edward." I nodded, and left his tent.

The numbness started to fade, but it didn't turn into pain.

No, I felt like a lighter man.

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Now, I read Bella's letter with new eyes.

_Dear Edward, _

_Please, please just be careful. Remember that promise you made to me before you left?_

_Please, keep that promise with all your heart. I can't stand the thought of you never coming home. I would be lost in this world, never to be quite as happy again. _

_I met Will today, the man I overheard my parents talking about. He's…nice, but I feel like he's rushing us. I mentioned you once, and he got all… well it's hard to explain... He was possessive about it. I'm very sure Charlie promised Will that I would marry him, and that's what triggered it. I was so angry at Charlie. I didn't understand why he was forcing me into this. All I want to do is shut my door, and never come out until you're back home. I know Renée and Charlie must be terrified, though. All they want me to be is happy, and they know I'll be destroyed if you never come home. They want me to find someone else, so I won't be _as_ crushed, but my heart only belongs to you, Edward. You're always so close to my heart. Closer than Renée and Charlie, but not by far. I love you so much, that I'll wait at the end of Earth to marry you. I'll try to postpone the wedding for you to be able to propose to me. I love you so much, and I miss you._

_Love, _

_Bella._

I smiled. She said yes to me, in her own way. All I had to do now was return home. I opened my sealed heart, my sealed love. I only had to live a few more days before my life was complete.

_A/N Thanks for all those reviews! Since I got so many reviews, I'll try to update again tomorrow. I would still like three reviews before I update, though. You guys are awesome; just tell me what you think. Also, if you have an idea for the end, I'm open for suggestions._


	9. Chapter 9: Reunited pt 1 Bella's POV

I smiled

_I smiled. She said yes to me, in her own way. All I had to do now was return home. I opened my sealed heart, my sealed love. I only had to live a few more days before my life was complete._

-Bella's POV-

I tightly wrapped my arms around my legs, and shook my head back and forth. I didn't care that my clothes were becoming muddy or even wet. All I wanted was to receive some type of sign that Edward was alive. _He hasn't sent a letter to me in days. I wonder what that means. Maybe he's just unable to send me mail. I mean, if something bad has happened, wouldn't his parents know about it?_

Midnight neighed quietly, and shifted her weight. "I know. I miss him too." I stood up and rubbed her neck. I stuck my foot in the stirrup, and jumped up onto the saddle. "Come on, let's go visit Esme and Carlisle."

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"I'm sorry, Bella. We haven't heard from Edward either. I'm sure he's fine, though. He's a tough kid."

"Thanks, Esme." I turned to go.

"I'm sure he'll write soon," she continued. "He loves you so much, and I know it hurts him to be away from you." I smiled.

"He has a good heart, and he has good parents," I replied quietly. She took a couple of steps, and gave me a big hug.

"We consider you part of the family, Bella. It's almost dinner time, why don't you stay?"

"Umm, I don't know. My mother and father are expecting me home soon."

"Of course they can come over too. Renée and Charlie can't cook all the time. They must be hurting too; they love you so much."

"I haven't been the brightest ray of sunshine.

No wonder they want me out of the house, and marry Will.

I didn't realize how much I've been hurting them."

"Renée and Charlie love you. They aren't happy when something is bothering you."

"Thank you so much, Esme." I turned to leave. "I'll be right back with my parents." I ran out the door, and jumped on to Midnight.

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I curled my arms around my knees. My hair blew around my face, and I shivered. Midnight grunted. "I have a feeling that he'll come. Please, just a little longer." I wrapped my light sweater tightly around myself.

"Bella, why are you out here in the cold?" I jumped up quickly. "You're going to catch a cold."

"What are you doing here, Will?" I spat.

"Your parents said you would be here. I don't want you to get sick for out wedding, baby." He put his arm around my waist and kissed the top of my head.

I pushed against his chest. "I'm not going to get sick, and I'm _not_ going to marry _you_!"

"Oh, don't be like that sweetie. Edward isn't going to be coming back. Soon enough you'll realize you're mistake and come running back to me."

"What do you mean Edward isn't coming home?"

"You haven't heard?" he asked in a sick innocent voice. "He was found on a ship returning home when the war wasn't over. They killed him on the spot. It's considered treason, you know."

My mouth fell open, and I slowly walked backwards, stunned. "No, no he can't be dead. No, you're lying! HE CAN'T BE DEAD!" I shouted. I took off running, but he grabbed my shoulder, and shoved me to the ground. He started ripping my dress.

"Let go of me!" I shoved, but he was too strong. I kicked him, and he stumbled backwards. I got up, but he grabbed my hand. I tugged, but he just wouldn't let go.

"LET GO OF ME YOU BIG JERK!!" His grip only tightened on my wrist.

"Don't be like that, baby." He caressed my cheek. "That's it, come on. Let's get you back to my place."  
"I want to go home."

"How are you going to explain the torn dress to your parents? They'll never have to know how you flirted with me if you just come home with me." He tried to tow me away, but I dug my shoes into the ground.

"No."

"Come on, sugar. It won't be that bad. It's just one night." I glowered at him. He sighed. "Fine, if you want to do this the hard way…" He picked me up, and put me over his shoulder.

"Put her down," a furious voice commanded.

Will dropped me, and whirled around to face the other person. As I hit the ground, the air was pushed out of my lungs, and something snapped. I groaned at the pain, and my eyes started to water. "Who are you?" I looked up through teary eyes. In front of the trees stared a muddy Edward.

"EDWARD!" I shouted in glee. I got up, and ran to him, smashing into his chest.

"I'm her fiancée," he replied.

_A/N Sorry for the long update. I've been sick for the past week, and I had to catch up on school work. I'll try to finish the story by Sunday night, but no promises. I love all the reviews, so keep them coming!_


	10. Chapter 10: Reunited pt 2 Edward's POV

"Put her down," a furious voice commanded

"_Put her down," a furious voice commanded. _

_Will dropped me, and whirled around to face the other person. As I hit the ground, the air was pushed out of my lungs, and something snapped. I groaned at the pain, and my eyes started to water. "Who are you?" I looked up through teary eyes. In front of the trees stared a muddy Edward. _

"_EDWARD!" I shouted in glee. I got up, and ran to him, smashing into his chest. _

"_I'm her fiancée," he replied._

-Edward's POV-

I trudged through trees, hoping I was heading in the right direction of our hill. I paused for a second, and closed my eyes. I pictured how I left, but it was just a blur. I couldn't think of the way.

"LET GO OF ME YOU BIG JERK!" a familiar voice screamed. _Bella,_ I thought. I took off running towards the voice. As I got closer I could hear a deep male's voice.

"How are you going to explain the torn dress to your parents? They'll never have to know how you flirted with me if you just come home with me," the man said persuasively.

I ground my teeth together. _Nobody should treat Bella like that. _

"No."

"Come on, sugar. It won't be that bad. It's just one night." The voice was much louder than before. Only a couple of trees in the way… I saw the man who was talking to Bella. He was tall and had brown hair. His shirt was half open; his chest was very muscular. _This must be Will. _

"Fine, if you want to do this the hard way…" He easily picked up my Bella. I stepped out into the trees.

"Put her down," I commanded, my voice livid. I glanced at Bella for the first time. She wore a simple blue dress. It was a little muddy, and torn straight up the middle. I grimaced at what Will said before. _'How are you going to explain the torn dress to your parents?'_ It was obvious he was using pressure to get what he wanted.

Bella slipped from his shoulder, and on to the ground. Will whirled around to face me.

"Who are you?" he asked rudely. Bella looked up, and love lit up her face.

"EDWARD!" she shouted in glee. She ran to me smashing into my chest. I wrapped an arm protectively around her.

"I'm her fiancée," I replied.

Will's eyes narrowed at Bella. "You said he didn't propose to you."

"My proposal was a little late," I said icily. "Not that it's any of your business."

"I have to disagree. Bella's my fiancée, and we're supposed to get married in a couple of days."  
"I heard it was postponed because her heart doesn't belong to you."

"Then who does it belong to?" he challenged.

"I love Edward, Will. I lied to you in the restaurant because I was tired of being depressed. I didn't want to talk about him because I love him. Anyway, when I mentioned him, you got all jealous." She placed her arms around my waist and gave me a big hug. Then she looked into my eyes. "I love you, Edward. I love you with all my heart." I kissed her forehead.

"Wait, _you're _Edward?"

I frowned. "Yeah, why?"

"You're supposed to be dead." I looked at myself. "The ship… Father's cronies… they were ordered to kill you in the middle of the ocean." I gave a knowing nod.

"I thought there was something fishy when my lieutenant told me I was free to go home. My gut told me to go on another boat home, so I arranged something with a fisherman. He was very generous… It's a good thing I know German."

Will glowered at me. "If you ant something done, you should do it yourself." He reached into his pocket. Will took out his gun and aimed at Bella. My dream flashed before my eyes._ NO!_ _I'm not going to stand here, and let my Love slowly drain from a lifeless cold body._ I yanked Bella behind me, and I stood protectively around her.

"Edward NO!" she screamed.

A thunderous bang echoed through the trees as something fiery hot hit my stomach. I put my hand over the spot and removed it. Deep red blood clung to my hand. I put my hand on the spot once more, but this time I didn't remove it. _So this is how it feels to be shot, _I thought. I saw many people killed in the past few months, I wondered what it felt like.

Everything seemed much slower than usual. I fell to my knees, and then to my side.

Bella gripped my arm, yelling, but I didn't hear anything. All I heard was the beating of my heart, slowly but surely killing me. Bella clawed at my arm, and the shouted angrily at the other man. Her face contorted in weird ways.

I didn't want her to worry, to be in pain anymore. "It's going to be all right," I wanted to say, but my lips no longer did my bidding. I was somewhat happy. I saw Bella again, and she uttered I love you. Tears slid down my face, but nobody noticed. I concentrated very hard.

"Bella, I love you," I barely moved my lips, but the sound came out. She looked at me, so much pain contorted her beautiful features. "It's going to be all right," I wanted to say again, but I couldn't. Blackness closed over my vision.

_No, I don't want to lose my vision yet. Please, please just let me see her face one more time. But I want it to be pain free. I want to see her without pain, since I caused so much of it. _

_A/N YAY longer chapter, but it's so sad. I'm crying right now… Well, I hope you liked it. Oh, and I also want one more review for the last chapter, so I'm not updating until I get four… Don't worry, this isn't the end of the story… yet. I haven't decided if Edward should really die yet though… Maybe if I get enough reviews, I won't have him die…_


	11. Chapter 11: Death of an Innocent

"Bella, I love you," I barely moved my lips, but the sound came out

"_Bella, I love you," I barely moved my lips, but the sound came out. She looked at me, so much pain contorted her beautiful features. "It's going to be all right," I wanted to say again, but I couldn't. Blackness closed over my vision. _

-Bella's POV-

A thunderous bang echoed through the trees. Blood stained snow flashed before my eyes. _No, this can't be happening to me. _"Edward," I cried. He fell onto his knees, and then onto his side. "No, you can't die, Edward." I grasped his arm, trying to undo the damage. Tears streamed down my face. I turned angrily at Will.

"What have you done?" I shouted.

"Bella, I love you. He was getting in the way of us. I did what I had to do. I just killed a man, who probably already killed his own share of people."  
"No, you didn't kill one person, Will. You killed two innocent people."

"Bella, I love you," Edward said. I barely heard him. He sounded so weak. His eyes began to dull. This gave me strength.

_I must save him, _I thought. _I don't know what I'll do without him._

I gave a short whistle, and Midnight trotted out of the woods. She kneeled on the ground. I put Edward's arm around my neck, and rolled him onto her back. I jumped onto her back, and placed the reins around Edward.

Midnight galloped through the woods to Edward's house. "Esme, Carlisle!" I shouted. They came running out. Esme gasped in horror.

"What happened?"

"There was a confrontation between Edward and the man I was supposed to marry." Carlisle took Edward off of Midnight, and carried him to his car.

"I'll take him to the hospital. Bella, I think it's best if you go home and explain what happened to your parents. You can visit him in the morn-"

A sharp pain came from my chest. My vision turned black, and I lost my balance on Midnight. I plummeted down, down into the blackness. The pain got worse.

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I slowly opened my eyes. The last thing I remember is sharp pain in my chest, then nothing. I remember plummeting into blackness, but that was it. I looked around. I didn't recognize this place at all.

The walls were eggshell white. I frowned a tiny bit. I seemed to be able to see much clearer now…

"Ah, Bella, you're finally awake." I turned and saw a stranger with golden eyes.

"W-who are you, and how do you know my name?" I asked in a bell like voice.

"My name is Aaron. I found you in a hospital in Chicago. You fell, and broke one of your ribs. It punctured your heart, and you blacked out. That's how you ended up in the hospital. You went into surgery, but you died on the operating table-"

"So I'm dead?" I asked. I wasn't too upset about it. As I recalled, my life had a lot of pain in it.

"No, I was one of your surgeons, and I took you out of the hospital and saved your life."

"How-" He held up a hand.

"I'm going to explain this as carefully as possible, but I have to finish before you make a decision, okay?" I nodded.

Aaron explained how he saved me with vampire venom. He was a vampire, and that's why his eyes were an odd golden color. He also explained how he abstained from drinking human blood.

"You can stay with me if you wish. I didn't create you to make you my slave."

"I appreciate what you've done here. You seem to enjoy saving human lives, and I shall stay with you. Let me just ask you one question, what happened to Edward?"

"I'm sorry, Bella. I don't know." I gave him a big hug.

"Thank you Aaron, for everything you've done."

_A/N Thanks for all the reviews. I'll try to update again tomorrow, but I have a ton of homework, so no promises. Keep reviewing!_


	12. Chapter 12: Funeral

"You can stay with me if you wish

"_You can stay with me if you wish. I didn't create you to make you my slave."_

"_I appreciate what you've done here. You seem to enjoy saving human lives, and I shall stay with you. Let me just ask you one question, what happened to Edward?"_

"_I'm sorry, Bella. I don't know." I gave him a big hug. _

"_Thank you Aaron, for everything you've done."_

-Edward's POV-

I woke up in a white room. I rolled over and groaned at the pain in my side. I tired to remember what happened, but my mind rebelled against any thought of how I got here. I doctor came into my room. "Ah, Edward you're finally awake. How do you feel?"

"My side really hurts. It feels like a cement truck hit it, and then kept rolling over it." I grimaced at the pain. "How did I get here?"

"You were shot, but Bella saved your life by bringing you to your father. You lost a lot of blood. We had to give you many blood transfusions. You've been out for a very long time…"

"Where's Bella? Has she been visiting me?"  
"No…" he hesitated.

"What's wrong? What happened to Bella?" I asked, my voice cracked in panic.

"That information may interfere with your recovery."  
"What happened to Bella?" I repeated. I noticed the heart monitor accelerate, but I didn't care. I needed to know what happened to my Love.

The doctor took one look at my face. "She seemed to have fallen and broken one of her ribs. When Bella brought you to your father, she collapsed and never regained consciousness. We tried to repair the bleeding, but she died on the operating table.

My whole world came crashing down on me. Bella, my warm sweet Bella was dead. I would never see her, hear her voice ever again. I would never see the blush, or catch her right before she hit the ground. Never.

My breathing became unsteady, it hurt my side. Tears clung to my face. I had so many plans for her. I wanted to marry her, have children, and finally grow old together. I knew I would have to face death, but I never thought it would be so soon.

"Edward, are you okay?" the doctor asked, interrupting my thoughts.  
"Yes," I lied. "Can you please give me a moment?" The doctor stepped out of the room.

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I walked into the church two weeks after her death. The whole room was black, including me. I noticed Charlie and Renée talking to the pastor. Renée had puffy eyes, and her face didn't seem as peaceful and child like as usual. Charlie had a curious dead look to him.

I walked up to them. "Edward, I'm so happy you came. I know Bella's death is just as hard on you as it is on us." I tried to smile.

"I wouldn't miss something that would mean so much to Bella," I replied. My voice was lifeless.

"She loved you so much." I swallowed, and tried to keep the grimace off my face.  
"I know. I'll miss her as much as you will. I really loved your daughter." It hurt to use the past tense.

"Why don't you sit with your parents." My smile was more genuine. Renée could see my discomfort.

I went and sat between Carlisle and Esme. He put a hand on my shoulder. "I know this is hard for you, Son."

"I can't believe she's really gone," I replied. "She's always been there for me, even after Rosalie's death. It took awhile for her to talk to me again, but I still got to see her face."

"Renée and Charlie gave you her paintings. It won't be so bad."

I just shook my head. I didn't want to argue. Nothing could replace Bella's face.

Soon the pastor started talking. I tuned him out. I didn't want to think about the loss in my life.

Towards the end, I heard a piece of wood squeak in protest. I looked back, and I thought I saw Bella's retreating figure.

_No, you're imagining things. Bella's dead, and lying in the closed casket. _Suddenly, a stabbing pain hit my side. I crumpled at the pain.

"Edward, are you okay?" Carlisle's concerned voice asked.

"It's…just…the wound," I panted. "I want some fresh air." The pain subsided, and I walked outside. I opened the door, and I thought I saw Bella flee around the corner of the church. I tried to follow, but by the time I got to where I saw her, she was gone.


	13. Chapter 13: Five Years Later

_Towards the end, I heard a piece of wood squeak in protest. I looked back, and I thought I saw Bella's retreating figure. _

_No, you're imagining things. Bella's dead, and lying in the closed casket. Suddenly, a stabbing pain hit my side. I crumpled at the pain._

"_Edward, are you okay?" Carlisle's concerned voice asked. _

"_It's…just…the wound," I panted. "I want some fresh air." The pain subsided, and I walked outside. I opened the door, and I thought I saw Bella flee around the corner of the church. I tried to follow, but by the time I got to where I saw her, she was gone. _

"_Goodbye Edward," I heard a faint voice say. It sounded like Bella. I shivered, but not because I was cold._

-Bella's POV-

When Aaron received information about my funeral things between us became a little heated. "Aaron, I have to see if my family is alright. I must see them one more time."

"Are you insane? One mistake and everything we live for will be ruined. If one person sees you, it's going to be trouble for both of us!" He shouted. I put a hand on his shoulder.

"Nobody will see me, I promise."

"No, Bella. I forbid you to go." I bit my lip so I wouldn't say anything stupid. Instead, I stormed out of the house.

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The whole room was black in white. I stood in the shadow of the balcony. I saw my parents talking to a pastor. I choked back a cry of sadness. The expressions on their faces were unbearable. Edward came into the church and walked up to my parents. He looked so much better through my new pair of eyes.

"Edward, I'm so happy you came. I know Bella's death is just as hard on you as it is on us," Renée said.

"I wouldn't miss something that would mean so much to Bella."

"She loved you so much."

"I know. I'll miss her as much as you will. I really loved your daughter," he managed to choke out. I didn't pay attention to what was said next. I didn't care. _Edward doesn't love me anymore. The purpose of my life doesn't love me…_ I shook my head. _No, that was my old life. I'm a vampire now, and Edward is human. When I died, it changed my life. I no longer belong to Edward._ Somehow, I didn't believe my words.

Once the pastor starting talking, I couldn't keep my eyes off Edward. He grimaced whenever the pastor said 'Bella' or any past tense sentence with my name in it. Eventually Edward didn't seem to pay attention at all. Somehow, I was smug. Edward still loved me, even though I was dead. Death didn't change how we felt about each other.

Eventually I got enough of seeing my upset family. I turned to leave, but I nudged a squeaky floor board. I froze, which was a big mistake. I was immediately aware of Edward looking up. I quickly left, hoping he didn't see me. Once I got to the front entrance of the church, I heard him moan in pain. It took all my self control not to go barging in those front doors. _Remember what you promised Aaron, 'I will not be seen'. _I repeated to myself.

"Edward, are you okay?" Carlisle's concerned voice asked.

"It's…just…the wound," Edward panted. "I want some fresh air." I heard him amble his way up the isle and towards the front door, right where I was standing. I couldn't make myself move fast enough. Somehow, I wanted Edward to see me, and follow. I heard the door open, close, and Edward's footsteps as he pursued me. I ran into the woods, but just enough to be concealed by the shadows. I peaked at his face, just one last time. "Goodbye Edward," I whispered.

-Five Years later-

-Edward's POV-

I slowly walked to the top of our hill. Was it really five years that had passed?

It felt like centuries. Leaves crumbled under my weight. The surrounding trees were bare, just like my life without Bella. I sat down, and wrapped my arms around my knees.

I clamped my hands around the five red roses I brought.

I stared at the granite. My eyes unfocused, the writing was incomprehensible, but I somehow already knew it. My throat closed, tears stinging my eyes. I thought about the first time I decided to come here.

"_Hi Bella," I had greeted quietly. "Wow, I don't know what to say. I mean, I'm talking to a rock. But what am I supposed to say? That I'm happy? Well, I'm not. Am I supposed to lie? Or maybe I should just say it's going to be okay, but I know that's not what's going to happen. Maybe I can just pretend the pain I'm constantly in doesn't exist, but you know better. Oh, Bella," I sobbed freely now. "I wish you were here with me. You would tell me what to say, or not to say. Bella, I want you to come back. Give me a sign, give me a sign that you're listening to me!" _Of course nothing happened then and now.

A leaf crunched behind me. "Daddy, why are you sitting here alone?" I didn't turn as I spoke to my daughter. I didn't want to frighten her with my tears.

"It's just a ceremony I like to have. A great friend died this day five years ago. I like to take some time out of my day to remember her."

"Is she the girl I was named after?"

"Yes, Bella, you're named after my friend." I walked up to my side and sat down.

"Daddy, you're hurt." I looked at my hand.

"No, sweetie, I'm not hurt. It's just the thorns." I opened my hand to reveal the blood stained thorns.

"…but you're crying."

"The memory of my friend makes me sad. That's why I don't talk about her much."

"Will you tell me about Bella?"

-Bella's POV-

The wind whipped around me as I stood in the middle of the clearing. I stared at what would have torn me apart when I was human, but it still hurt me just as deeply. I didn't understand it.

Aaron warned me against such action. "Seeing him again will just hurt you more. I don't approve of this, Bella. It's just going to get harder and harder." He was worked at the hospital so frequently, that I had little company during the day. After the funeral, I made a habit of following Edward around. I knew it was dangerous, but I just wanted to see him one last time. Unfortunately, there was no last time.

Seeing him so often was harder for me now. I knew it would eventually come, but he was still so young. Why were humans so fragile and why were they mortal? What was the meaning of my existence? Before I 'died', I would have easily said I belonged to Edward. What happened when your purpose died?

The granite stone mocked me. Did Edward find peace when he was dead? Would I ever find peace? Or did I trade peace for immortality?

My eyes stung, wishing for tears that would not come. Why did life have to be so dang unfair?

_A/N I know, you're probably all confused. I feel really cruel right now. Bella found Edward's grave in a clearing. Yes, Edward is really dead in this story. I might create a sequel where he pretends his death, but for now he's really dead. I'm sorry life is cruel. I hope you like my story._


	14. Chapter 14: Searching

_The wind whipped around me as I stood in the middle of the clearing. I stared at what would have torn me apart when I was human, but it still hurt me just as deeply. I didn't understand it. _

_Aaron warned me against such action. "Seeing him again will just hurt you more. I don't approve of this, Bella. It's just going to get harder and harder." He was worked at the hospital so frequently, that I had little company during the day. After the funeral, I made a habit of following Edward around. I knew it was dangerous, but I just wanted to see him one last time. Unfortunately, there was no last time._

_Seeing him so often was harder for me now. I knew it would eventually come, but he was still so young. Why were humans so fragile and why were they mortal? What was the meaning of my existence? Before I 'died', I would have easily said I belonged to Edward. What happened when your purpose died?_

_The granite stone mocked me. Did Edward find peace when he was dead? Would I ever find peace? Or did I trade peace for immortality? _

_My eyes stung, wishing for tears that would not come. Why did life have to be so dang unfair?_

-Edward's POV-

My muscles screamed at me, but I didn't care. I had to get away as fast as possible. When was the last time I ran this far? My mind subconsciously shied away from the thought. I couldn't think of leaving my family alone. I left them all my money, but I left my Bella without a father. It was the only way I could think of getting away.

I don't know how, but I had this feeling that Bella was alive. _I must find her._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I arrived in Forks a day ago, but there was no sign of Bella. I somehow feel her presence. I don't know why or how, but we've always been connected.

I took a deep breath, and took a walk into some woods. Woods always had a calming affect on me. "I knew I would find you here," a painstakingly familiar voice said. I turned around, and Will was standing right there.

"How- how did you know where to find me?"  
"I moved to Forks five years ago, after _you_ killed my Bella. I saw you yesterday applying for a job. When I was looking for you today, I remembered something Bella told me. She told me all the good times she had with you in the woods. I found you easily enough."

"Bella's heart _never_ belonged to you," I growled. "And I never killed Bella. After she saw me shot, she just…gave up. She couldn't live without me, nor can I live without her. It's as if part of me died with her five years ago…"  
"If you couldn't live without her, why are you still alive?" he asked tauntingly.

"There's never a day when I don't think of her. Somehow, I still… feel her presence. I don't believe she's really dead. It seems like she's here, in Forks. I hope, if she truly is dead, that I'll be reunited with her when I die."

"Wow, you're insane, Cullen. I can't believe you've lived this long without killing yourself."

"I know Bella would want me to live, even if it meant we would be apart for a time. I have to believe that we were meant for each other. If we weren't, then what's the purpose of life? What's the purpose of my existence?"

"It's eat or be eaten, Edward. Bella was meant to be with me, the stronger of us two. Women are just things, won by the toughest of the men. I believe I've proven who's manlier. Although, you survived last time. I'm asserting my right as victor." He pulled out a gun, and aimed at my stomach again. "I'm making no mistakes this time, Edward. Bella isn't here to save you." He fired the gun. It took seconds for the bullet to reach me, but it seemed like an eternity. My mind comprehended so much in those few seconds.

Again, everything seemed to slow. I saw Will turn, a satisfied smirk on his face. My heart beat loudly.

My eyelids were harder and harder to keep open. At the last possible second, my mind conjured the most beautiful thing ever. Bella came here for me. She was going to guide me to my afterlife. I smiled.

"No," she cried. "It's not supposed to be like this!"

My eyelids closed, and darkness replaced everything I was aware of.

-Bella's POV-

I agreed to move to Forks with Aaron because Edward was no longer alive. I was forever barred from a place where he was.

Life seemed pointless. I tried helping Aaron at the hospital. I tried to accomplish as much self control as possible.

One day I was hunting, and a gun shot pierced the air. I smelled blood. Naturally, I was lured to it.

There was something familiar about the scent, so I immediately cut off all air from my lungs. Once I got close enough to see who was shot, horror filled me.

There, lying on the ground was Edward covered in his own blood. A sense of déjà vu washed through me.

_No, this can't be happening! _

I walked over to Edward, and knelt at his side. He smiled. "No," I cried. "It's not supposed to be like this!"

His eyes closed, and I almost lost all hope. His heart barely made any sound. _No he can't die. He can't die._

I carefully picked him up, and ran away. I knew I didn't have that much time, but I didn't think I could do it. I had to find Aaron as quickly as possible.

_A/N I hope you're not too confused. I'll answer all questions you may have. I haven't decided what to do with Edward yet, so please review. _


	15. Chapter 15: Turned

I could feel his warmth waning as I ran through the woods. _How long was it since the bullet was fired? Surely it took only seconds for me to get to him, and then assess the situation. So maybe a minute? _Even though I was sure I could get to Aaron in time, I pushed my muscles faster.

I tried to ignore the lack of breathing. I'm very sure it wouldn't help to be lured to taking his life. I tried to hear my surroundings instead, so I could know if I was being pursued. I almost laughed at the thought. Nobody would dare trying to hunt me down today.

I burst through the door, just as Aaron arrived at the bottom step.

"Bella?"  
"Aaron, please, save him. Do any thing in your power, please. This is my Edward. This is my only true love." He grimaced as I said these words.

"Bella, can't you hear his heart? It's too late…" And as he said those words, Edward's heart faltered as if to make them true.

"No," I whispered. "There must be some way!"

"You can bite him."

"I don't want him to wake up in a life like this. I want it to be _his_ choice." I looked at him, pained.

"Bella," he cautioned, but it was too late. I laid Edward on the floor, and took off, my mind miles away from here.

-E-

I loved the feel of wind in my hair, cold arms surrounding me protectively. When we finally stopped, I thought we were there. Heaven. The voices I heard confused me. I couldn't make out the words, but I could tell the woman, Bella, was stressed and worried. This didn't fit the context.

Suddenly I felt cold lips against my skin, and then burning. I screamed out in agony, and then I heard a voice. A man's voice whispered 'sorry' right next to my ear. I screamed and screamed, wondering why they were torturing me like this. Then I realized what happened. This wasn't heaven, and the woman wasn't Bella. "This is what she wants, she just doesn't realize it," the same voice continued.

- three days later-

I opened my eyes. Everything was clearer and I could see a speck of dust. I blinked, surprised. "Hello, Edward. My name is Aaron." My head turned towards the voice, only it was much faster than usual. I frowned since I didn't recognize him, but the voice seemed so familiar…

"Where am I?" I asked, though it sounded…bell like.

"You're in my house in Forks, Washington. I turned you into a vampire three days ago, since you were going to die."

"You were the whisper I heard."  
"Yes, and I'm sorry about the pain. Bella wanted it to be your choice, but it would have been too late to save you."

"Where is she? Is she here?" I glanced around the room eagerly, only hearing one steady breath.

"No. She…left." _She left to go kill herself…_

"Bella's going to kill herself?" I screeched. I was next to the door, before he put his hand on my shoulder.

"How-how did you know?"

"You said it out loud, just now." He shook his head.

"No, I didn't."

"I'm sure-" He smiled.

_Edward, I think you can read minds._ I continued to stare at him. He frowned. "Didn't you just hear me?"

"Yes, but…it…doesn't make sense," I finally finished.

"Some of us are gifted, Edward."

"Let me find Bella."

"No, you can't Edward. Not until you can control yourself."

"But she'll be dead by then," I cried.

"I'm sorry, Edward, but it's our only way. All I hope is that the Volturi _don't_ grant her wish and recruit her. We'll be able to get her back then.


End file.
